Nightfall, Cortes Island

This orange dusk the ocean seems to slow, to take its rest. It is as if the confining shores have been pushed apart some allowing more space and relief from the day's roil. The dots of white on its surface seem fewer, farther apart. The thickening sea is darker but somehow more welcoming as the sun falls behind the cedars to the west. Both the water’s and its color temperatures fall.  The small boats and their sure-footed sailors respond of the calm, drink in hand, with the resolve of ants at an August picnic. The tiny ferry comes about as she sails from her landing as if to look on the stillness in admiration. In this moment, the churning, churlish Salish Sea is no more.

Comments Worth Perusing

If you like stories about painful tooth extractions, and whew, who doesn't, be sure and click on the comment button in the "Filling the Gap" post. They're real-life oral hygiene stories from right here on Cortes.
Kids, don't try this at home... or at anybody else's home, for that matter.
In the story block, tackle and pulley provided by Alphonse's Block, Tackle, Pulley and Tapas Bar, Campbell River.

Shanica and the Copyright

It has come to my attention that the "ica" in "Shanica" is morose over the fact that the "Shan" comes first in the amalgamation. The original combination, "Monannon" - pronounced "mon' an non" produced copyright issues. Turns out Monannon is an organization that helps people and their families dealing with Mon addictions. What would you have done?

Local Monannon meeting... saving lives for better or worse

Filling the Gap

I went to the post office in Whaletown (no whales and hardly a town) today. A woman was leaving as I was going in. Later, I went to the store at Gorge Harbor. The same woman was there. Twenty minutes pass and I am at the dock at Whaletown Harbor (my God is it beautiful) hoping a fisherperson had fish to sell. I turn and guess, just guess, who's getting out of her van. Right! That woman. I placed my shooting hand inside my jacket threateningly and took a marksman's stance. "Why is it you are everywhere I am?" I asked through clenched teeth. She smiled disarmingly,but I wasn't fooled. "It's funny, isn't it?"  she said. My hamstrings were screaming at me from the silly stance I had taken. I responded, "Yeah." All my tough guy posturing and all my don't-tread-on-me hissing were, it turns out,  directed at the island's dental clinic owner. I agreed to come in for a cleaning I do not need.

Friends in High Places

This story comes from an unimpeachable source. We'll call that source Dan... even though his real name is Officer Something-not-Dan. He told the story with a mixture of amusement and bemusement. The events are of recent vintage; it perhaps still goes on. I'd like to think it does.
The RCMP visits the island on what appears to be a fairly predictable schedule. After all, there are only 6 ferries a day, 5 on Tuesday and Sunday and none on Christmas, Wayne Gretzky's birthday and the anniversary of Gordon Campbell's drunk driving arrest. OK, a limited number of opportunities to come from Quadra Island, their home, to Cortes. Still, the people who need to know where and when they might show up need to be vigilant.  So, it seems there is a system.
Wise people employ the designated driver to be safe during nights of frivolity. Here on Cortes that is practiced, too. But there is another designated role: spy. Perhaps it's an homage to all the MI5/6, CIA, KGB folks who I am convinced live here. Maybe it's a natural extension of  the seafaring culture, past and present. Either way, somewhere along the hill that ascends majestically slicing through the forest from the ferry landing  the designated spy takes his/her place. When that person observes law enforcement exiting the ferry, the chain of events begins to unfurl. Armed with a communication device (smoke signals?), the person contacts... well, whom would you contact? Perhaps the illegal merrymakers, right? Not on Cortes. He/she calls the Cortes Island radio station. A certain song gets played. People disperse. Cars get parked. Bust is foiled. William Congreve was right: Music hath charms that soothe the savage breast. Please note that it is breast and not beast.
I'm thinking tunes such as, "For What It's Worth" ("What a field day for the heat"), "With a Little Help From my Friends", or the theme from Smoky and the Bandit.
Come up with other appropriate songs and comment on this posting, why doncha?
Which brings me to this. I know you are out there. More than 1,100 people have hit the blog. Comment, Communicate.  Maybe you have more details you'd like to share on some of Mikie and Lili's stories.

Secondary Passion

When she's not barrel racing or hurtling through Cortes' many hairpin turns on her HOG, Lili likes to start fires, many in appropriate places...

                                                                                                                      ... some not

Serendipity, Yah, Yah, Yah

OK, it'll be a stretch connecting this little nugget to Cortes Island, but it is still worth sharing. My niece Mac bought a book at a garage sale, Harry Potter and the Horrible Trip to the Orthopedist or something. I'm not up on those romance novels.  Anyway, inside this masterpiece of adolescent manipulation and meal ticket for cute little British actors was a bookmark. This old piece of pasteboard, used by I would think more than one person in more than one book, was much more than any bookmark you and I might use. It was a ticket to the Ed Sullivan Show on that Sunday evening when the Beatles - yes, those Beatles - made their final appearance on the program in 1965. It appears that it was their last live performance on North American TV, too. Mac's dad Russ, ever vigilant to cash in on someone else's stupidity (ask him about the piano), did the research and found that it is worth between $3000 and $5000. There are but 4 of these babies known to exist. I tried to convince him that after all Lili and I have done for him he should sell it and put the money in our BC Ferries account.* It seems he did not think I was serious. No, instead they will waste it on a university education fund or floors for their house or some other useless crap. I suppose if you live in a house with no floors you have to do something about that.
I think I'll out them to J.K. Rowling who of course will immediately claim it as hers.

* I made that part up so I could create, albeit tenuous at best, a link to the theme of this blog.

Get Your Motor Running...

VROOM, VROOM

                                             




               FLYING INTO THE TURN AT .3 KPH

SPINNING OUT AT THE TOP

                                                     





                                                         STABILIZED

AND THE WINNAH...

                 

                       


AND STILL CHAMPEEN... LILI

Cortes Island Driftwood Cortes Island

Anyone besides me see the resemblance between the driftwood above and Cortes island? I see Whaletown, Gorge Harbor, Squirrel Cove.  Ok, Ok, it's a stretch, but Jeez, you find driftwood on Cortes that looks more like Cortes and you win the "STM"* Award.
Lili would like to extend her gratitude to The Shanica for a terrific cocktails on the deck session. Nothing like an electric bike ride home after a beverage or two.











*Smarter Than Mikie

You know You're Island-acclimated when...

Your response to the incessant helicopter noise is, "Hey I think that's the drum solo from Mountain Jam..."
A hitchhiker you've picked up has trouble articulating an answer to, "Hey, where ya goin'?"
You've considered letting the air out of the tires of some tourists' cars in the ferry line-up
You've forgotten what cop cars look like... or what they're for
You've cooked a gourmet meal using only stuff in Tupperware
You've stopped picking up after your dog even though you have a cabinet full of poop bags

If you have some of these you'd like to see posted, send them as a comment and I will not only consider them but take credit for them. Get a lawyer.

"The Mitch" Photo Book Slide Show

Friends and family, new and old, view the slide show below of images of our recent high school graduate's journey with his friends and family to that auspicious event. That device wrapped around his head in the cover photo, by the way, is his sister Kate's (the engineer) design for an underwater breathing apparatus she hopes to market to the Navy Seals... or, maybe it was just seals. Whichever, The Mitch agreed to model it for the promotional pamphlet. When he was here with Lili and Mikie on Cortes he chose not to use Kate's device in the Pacific. I don't know why. Perhaps she's not paying him enough. It's an attractive accessory, one way or the other.

The Mitch

Click here to view this photo book larger

Lili Gets Her Ride

Seeking greener transportation for Lili's daily journey back and forth to work, we have purchased an electric motor bike. That, however, ain't the half of it. The purchase was the single strangest transaction either of us has ever had. We'll call the seller, Jack.
Jack had this neat little Chinese bike for sale because he was, "...too big for it." He explained that the hill he lived on was perfectly climbable for the bike... unless he was on it. He bought it without doing what a person needs to do to see if that person and that cycle match, whatever the hell that is. It made its first trip up his hill on the back of the dealer's truck. The second trip up the hill was not as smooth. Jack discovered the joys of pedal-assisted transport and then human-on-foot and sweating assisted transport to get back to the summit. The next day the bike was for sale.
Jack met us at his house. He started talking. He never stopped. Minutes into his monologue he was stung by a bee. It became part of the script. He told us his sad bike/hill story punctuated with "Does this look swollen to you?" Then he told us the names of all his girlfriends and how they all rhymed punctuated with, "Man, that bugger packed a wallop." Jack showed us stuff about the bike all the while asking what salve he should apply to his wound. When Jack volunteered that learning to ride the bike was like sex: practice, practice, practice, it was "check please" time for both of us. Lili said pay the man and we were gone.
The bike comports itself very well here on Cortes. Lili likes it. She bought a big black helmet and wears it religiously. She's adorable on her "HOG" too.

Salmon Cakes

Ingredients: Fresh salmon fillet skin-on; organic bread crumbs; 3 - 4 oz drained,roasted red pepper; medium-sized white onion; Cortes Free Range Egg(s); 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano; EVO, 1/2 lemon, juiced, Sea salt, Fresh Pepper

Notes: If you have any par-roasted salmon left over from your stew, use it in this recipe. If you can get Old Bay Seasoning where you live, I'd love to hear how that was when added to this recipe. I haven't found it yet here.

The recipe below made 12 4oz (appx) cakes

Tools: Cast iron fry pan, large mixing bowl, spatula, human hands

- Roast a salmon fillet for about 12 minutes at 425F. Let stand for 10 minutes and remove the skin. I find that cutting it in half make the skin removal easy. Chop the fish coarsely
- Dice the onion and the red pepper and saute in EVO
- As onion softens, add oregano, pepper and salt to taste and continue to saute mixture for 3 minutes or so
- Place saute contents in mixing bowl with a beaten egg
- Break up salmon with your hands
- Measure bread crumbs to match the pile of fish you have created
- Place fish, crumbs and lemon juice in the bowl and knead that sh*t. You know you want to.
- You may need another egg so it binds better. Add more EVO while you're at it. Never enough.
- Mold cakes with your manly or womanly hands. Make sure they are firm, flat, about 1 in. thick. If they fall apart, put them back in the bowl and add another beaten egg. They should have the same heft as a good home-made burger
- In the fry pan put just enough EVO to cover bottom. Heat pan to medium high. Don't let EVO (or anyone else you love) smoke.
- Brown or blacken (no more than 4 at a time) cakes on each side; about a minute per side
- Flip them back to original side and put the pan in the heated oven for 10 minutes.
- Let them rest for 3 minutes before tearing into them. Spoon a little of the oil in the pan on both sides before serving.
They are wonderful with a flavorful hot sauce and/or home made tartar sauce (mayo, chopped dill pickle and a little roasted paprika)Tartar sauce should be made an hour in advance and put in fridge. Any beer or white wine you associate with summer should match. Soda water with lime does, too. Lili and I had Stella Artois. Them Belgians can brew.

Recetas de Cortes

OK, with the understanding in place that I cook using instinct, intuition and sloth here is the reconstruction of one of the dishes I have prepared since coming to Cortes. There will be more.

Apple Salmon Stew
Ingredients: Fresh Salmon (16 oz. or more);Salmon carcass, if possible (1); white onion (1/2); Red potatoes (3 large or 6 small); 3 LARGE tart apples (Transparents, Granny Smith etc.); light cream or whole milk (1 cup); Cortes Island free-range egg (1); Ground Sea Salt and freshly-ground pepper, sprig rosemary, sourdough (or equivalent) bread

Tools: Sauce pan, saute or cast iron fry pan, blender or Kitchen Bullet, filleting knife, wooden spoon

- Heat (there's no such thing as pre-heat)the oven to 350F
- Crush Rosemary (the herb) with a mortar and pestle; set aside
- Chop onion coarsely
- Cube skin-on potatoes
- Cube the skin-on apples
- Put 1/2 of both apples and potatoes (microwave them for a minute to soften) aside to add at the end
- Saute in 3 OZ (or more) of EVO onions, apples, potatoes, Rosemary until onions are soft
- If working with fresh fish, fillet the poor thing removing the skin (ouch!)
- In 6 cups of water in a large sauce pan boil the carcass and the skin for 10 minutes for broth (no carcass, you say? Flake some of your salmon and put in water with the skin), reduce to simmer (important)
- Roast salmon for 15 minutes on a well-saturated cedar plank or in a shallow pan or so at 350F.
- Remove carcass and skin from pan
- Add contents of saute and simmer for 15 minutes and allow to cool
- Blend the contents of the pan until smooth
- Taste the broth and adjust if you wish, but you'd be crazy to do that
- While broth is still cool, add dairy and the beaten egg.
- Return to simmer, pan uncovered(don't boil it or the milk will separate and clump*)
- Crack as much pepper as you wish into the simmering smooth broth and stir the mess regularly
- Add the par-roasted salmon in chunks as well as the remaining spuds and onions and allow to simmer another 20 minutes.
- Salt and pepper to taste, if you wish
- Serve over a hearty slice of sour dough bread. Any crisp white wine goes well, especially Gewurztraminer

It took longer to compose this than it did to do it.

* If you inadvertently boil the broth after the milk/cream is in and it clumps, re-blend it

The Ditch

Lili has been introduced to the Cortes Ditch syndrome. More on that in a moment. Meanwhile, the following comes from a book written by yours truly,called Cancer In the Family.

"You are expected to use the ditch in a Canadian winter, but not all methods are recommended methods. The roads, mostly straight, flat and horizon-bound can disappear from under you in an instant... the grassy, sloped and graded depression along the side of the road is an ally.Keep your steering straight... fade gently to the roadside, brake light but firm... you will slow to a stop from which you will walk, even if you and yours need crawl out the windows."

I share that not only because it's a pretty savvy Prairies observation I think, but also because none of it applies here on Cortes. Well, maybe the crawl out the window part. The ditches on the isle are often hidden by undergrowth filled with hemoglobin-seeking thorns (and delicious black berries though that's another, less tortured story) and as steep as a Chichen Itza staircase without the obnoxious vendors. Lili found all this out the hard way when she visited a new colleague's home. She also discovered that for some people it is a source of entertainment.

Someone Else Among the Tall Trees - Just Hard to See

We had noticed that helicopters whirred above us quite often since our arrival on Cortes. We thought of a number of reasons why they might, but only 2 made sense: chicken rustlers and grow-op finders. This is, after all, British Columbia where both abound. As there had been no overt attempts to abduct Shelley and Egbert of which we were aware, weed in the woods, ganja in the greenery, pot in the pines and dope in the deciduous is/are the best we could come up with. Turns out, we were prescient.
This story comes third hand so its details are debatable, but the core event did take place. The names have been expunged to protect the innocent. That and I don't know any of the names. Because neither of us was there, license to embellish is granted.
People often put nylon netting around parts of their property. It's less expensive than a fixed fence and portable. It's probably less traumatic for deer and other wildlife to bump into, too. That's what this barrier keeps out. You can guess what it keeps in.
An islander who employs nylon fencing, miles of nylon fencing, approached a neighbor one day with a story to share. It seems that 2 men, perhaps a little burly for a stroll in the forest primeval as evidenced by their visible dampness, but certainly well-dressed in full earth-toned ninja gear stumbled out of the trees. After a bout of breath-catching, one huffed and puffed through a brief question. Pushing his battle helmet back, he asked, "Do you know the way to the nearest road?" It appears full combat outfitting does not include a compass, a map or a sense of where you are.
Alas, history has not recorded the actual response to this question. Here, dear readers, I hope you'll have a little fun with us. In the comment box, write what you might have answered. Here's mine as a weak prototype. "Sorry, could you step away from the tree? I cannot see you."