Lili Gets Her Ride

Seeking greener transportation for Lili's daily journey back and forth to work, we have purchased an electric motor bike. That, however, ain't the half of it. The purchase was the single strangest transaction either of us has ever had. We'll call the seller, Jack.
Jack had this neat little Chinese bike for sale because he was, "...too big for it." He explained that the hill he lived on was perfectly climbable for the bike... unless he was on it. He bought it without doing what a person needs to do to see if that person and that cycle match, whatever the hell that is. It made its first trip up his hill on the back of the dealer's truck. The second trip up the hill was not as smooth. Jack discovered the joys of pedal-assisted transport and then human-on-foot and sweating assisted transport to get back to the summit. The next day the bike was for sale.
Jack met us at his house. He started talking. He never stopped. Minutes into his monologue he was stung by a bee. It became part of the script. He told us his sad bike/hill story punctuated with "Does this look swollen to you?" Then he told us the names of all his girlfriends and how they all rhymed punctuated with, "Man, that bugger packed a wallop." Jack showed us stuff about the bike all the while asking what salve he should apply to his wound. When Jack volunteered that learning to ride the bike was like sex: practice, practice, practice, it was "check please" time for both of us. Lili said pay the man and we were gone.
The bike comports itself very well here on Cortes. Lili likes it. She bought a big black helmet and wears it religiously. She's adorable on her "HOG" too.